It has been proven that optimists are much more successful at school, at work and in sports than pessimists. You may have talent, desire, but if you are too pessimistic, you will fail. There is evidence that optimists are less ill and live much longer. Some people's natural optimism has not been put into practice, but it is quite easy to learn through regular practice.
Renowned American psychologist Martin Seligman, also known as the father of learned optimism, is the founder of positive psychology. Part of his theory is that optimism is not innate, as many psychologists have argued so far, but can be easily learned.
Optimism fundamentally affects our reality
Pessimists are shaped by their thinking about the future, which they see in the blackest colors. Of course, we have to be realistic. Some bad situations really can't be changed. But even on most of the bad ones, something promising can be found. Something we can work on to improve our situation again.
If you are looking for a positive side to every thing that makes you in a bad mood, you will improve your perception of the whole thing and suddenly you will see hope and solutions. To put it simply, when we hear about a car accident, we have to say to ourselves: But I am lucky that she did not meet me or any of my loved ones. Another example: When something goes wrong, we gain valuable life experience and the opportunity to learn from mistakes.
If that doesn't help, Selingman teaches his clients to discuss with himself. According to him, the way we try to refute our pessimistic thoughts to ourselves is to argue with them, just as we would discuss with another person. "When we have in front of us a person whose views we do not agree with, we usually draw arguments. We distance ourselves from him, we maintain our own opinion and self-confidence. Let's try to argue with the pessimist in us in the same way, "he explained.
Get rid of negative phrases
First of all, it is necessary to make clear to which group of people we actually belong. It's relatively easy. Bad life situations happen to each of us, no matter what we are founded on. In such a case, the pessimist will say that it is an irreversible state, or at best it will take a long time. The optimist is convinced that the bad period will soon change, that something has just happened, but it will go away again.
Pessimists feel that they have some guilt, a share, in the bad events in their lives. Optimists tend to blame someone else for them. "Becoming optimistic means learning some skills about how we will talk to ourselves in situations where we suffer and feel bad," sums up all this teaching by psychologist Seligman.
So, here are some principles we can try to follow when creating an optimist within us. Let's stop using negative phrases like, "It can't go well, next year it'll only get worse." Why do we say that? Where do we get that certainty? What if everything gets better? Don't prioritize your mistakes
Never confide in anyone what we have failed, what we have not learned, what we have failed. Let's not even joke about our failures. It may be fun to tell in society that we haven't learned French properly all our lives and we don't miss it at all, but many people may get the impression that we're really worried about it and that's why we're downplaying our mindset. And put your hand on your heart, isn't it really?
If we succeed in something, we need to be properly appreciated. We have our credit for that, because we are handy, smart, good. And such people thrive in life. Bad news, such as the deteriorating economic situation or a pandemic, is unpleasant, but there is no need to constantly burden it.